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whether we’d like to admit it or not social media is affecting our lives in a good way in a bad way in an ugly way either way it’s changing how we go through life it’s changing the warp speed in which we look at things it’s changing how we perceive things it’s changing how we perceive ourselves it’s changing how we look at ourselves in the mirror here’s the thing there are a lot of studies out there they’re starting to look at how social media is influencing our perception of life in general but there was one behavioral scientist named Clarissa Silva that recently did a study that took a look at people as a whole and how they’re responding to social media well what she found is that 60% of people found that their self-esteem was negatively affected by social media 50% of people claimed that they had relationship struggles as a result of social media and then 80% of people claimed that they were much easier to be deceived now because of social media basically the polished reality that’s out there basically makes it so that they can really get tricked and people are aware of it so what I want to talk about in this video is really the ways that social media is influencing your life and what we need to be cognizant of and the first one that I want to talk about is flat-out validation okay we’re always going to be socially comparing ourselves to others we’re human okay that’s just the way it goes you walk down the street you may not internalize it but you look at that person walking on the other side of the street and you’re judging them you’re casting judgment and it’s okay casting negative judgment is not necessarily a bad thing it’s a survival mechanism when we’re going through life if we don’t have sort of the urge to be negative right out the gate it doesn’t make sense from a survival standpoint we’re always prepared for the worst so it’s okay to be judging people it’s just how you act on that judgment and how you really internalize it it’s okay to have that superficial level of is this person good or bad but when it starts happening on social media when you start really validating yourself or judging yourself based on what other people are doing it makes it very difficult you see normally when we go through life you see people you meet people and you compare yourself to others and it’s happening at a casual speed that our bodies can handle okay maybe you see someone that looks better than you or you think looks better than you you have time to process that you think about it you stir on it maybe you develop some emotion on it maybe it frustrates you maybe it doesn’t but then it happens on social media where people are gloating they’re putting their ABS in your face they’re putting their biceps in your face they’re putting their fake breasts in your face it’s all there but what’s happening is it’s happening so fast that we’re never able to process it and internalize it in a way to make it positive we just see it more constantly bombarded by the inbound and one thing that I always learn early in my business career was that you want to control the outbound and never be overwhelmed by the inbound ever so if you’re in a sales position or you’re in a business position for any reason you don’t want to necessarily be overwhelmed with uncontrollable inbound okay but what you do want to do is be able to control your out bounce that you know exactly what you’re in control of so I guess what I’m trying to say is we constantly have this polished reality that’s forced in our faces that’s throwing off the social proof of our life now we don’t have something that’s truly transparent we don’t have something that’s truly there for us to judge ourselves on that’s just one part of the equation now let’s start talking about the extension of our lives through likes okay through digital likes we now have this tangible way to seek validation now I know I’m preaching to the choir when I say this because it’s something that everyone has experienced you post something on Facebook you post something on YouTube Instagram and you’re immediately waiting for that validation you’re waiting to see how people respond to it because you’re gonna seek validation from that it’s that instant gratification that we’re starting to really drive for okay we’re really starting to strive for constant validation of what we do in life and that’s okay but here’s the problem it’s really hard to separate how you look at digital life versus how you look at real life so instances of depression are extremely high now because we’re looking for this instant gratification that we would ordinarily get on facebook or ordinarily get on Instagram you post a picture of yourself shirtless tour you post a picture of a dinner that you cooked and suddenly you’re flooded with positive emotion or Navy any negative emotion it doesn’t really matter but either way you’re flooded with a response then you go to real life and you cook something or you go to real life and you smile at somebody and the response is so much smaller than it was on social media by contrast your brain doesn’t really know how to compute your dopamine levels are getting burnt out you’re actually burning out your senses social media so you’re desensitized in the real world now I’m not saying that that’s necessarily a bad thing our world was going into a digital age and you need to keep up with the times but at the same time we have to look at it from a physiological perspective if you’re constantly seeking an instant gratification that’s coming from likes then you’re gonna constantly be seeking that instant gratification in real life and it’s never gonna move fast enough to satisfy you now you may be wondering thomas is a fitness guy what does this have to do with anything well it translates directly in how you look at your body you look at yourself in the mirror and you’re expecting that instant gratification again because your brain the neural synapses the neuroplasticity everything that’s going on in your brain is computing and telling you that you should have a result like that and it’s not that way life takes time good things take time all good things that happen in life take legitimate time so when you look in the mirror and you don’t like what you see initially you’re not getting those likes on your own self-image so your validation is totally skewed now last but not least I do want to touch on just the polished reality of social media the fact that we are becoming much more easy to deceive that’s a big one so our internal guard is going away our BS meter so to speak our ability to tell if people are truly doing good or truly doing bad is actually going away because we are so immune to it we’re so used to people putting out a false impression of what their life is and this total polished reality but they live in a mansion and drive a Lamborghini and their life is perfect and photoshopping their images that we don’t trust people anymore because we just expect that we just expect life to be fake and believe it or not that’s gonna translate into how you look at your life you’re gonna start looking at your life as fake neuroplasticity is a real thing how you condition your mind day in and day out is going to reflect how you live today so if you’re spending the bulk of your time on social media in the bulk of your time doing that guess what that’s how your brain is having comes framed so I want you to focus on a couple of things I want you to a focus on not finding that validation through social media that’s a simple one but B I want you to live a real life then I’m saying this as someone that’s a social media celebrity or whatever the heck you call it that talks to a lot of people and I’m someone that lives on social media a lot but I can also tell you that you should turn off this video and you should get outside and you should try to live a real life as much as you possibly can to make sure that you have that balance now I still want you to come back and watch my videos from time to time but I want to make sure that you understand that it’s all about balance and making sure that you don’t get too one-sided in this or at least being cognizant of everything that’s going on as always make sure you keep it locked in here on my channel and if you have any ideas for future videos make sure you put them in the comments section below and that way I can make sure that I get to them make sure I put out the good content I’ll see you soon
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Social Media’s Impact on Health: The Psychology of Self Esteem- Thomas DeLauer…
Study: Conducted by a behavioral psychologist, Clarissa Silva, for The Huffington Post- An in-depth interview with men and women, ranging from ages 28-73, that are active social media users, and found that:
60% of people using social media reported that it has impacted their self-esteem in a negative way, 50% reported social media having negative effects on their relationships, and 80% reported that is easier to be deceived by others through their sharing on social media.
Social Comparison Theory- Humans are social creatures by nature and as social creatures, comparison to others is inevitable – People use social comparisons to validate their own lives, sometimes unknowingly. The social comparison theory describes how people self-evaluate themselves based on social comparisons to others and encompasses the idea that individuals have a drive to gain accurate self-evaluations about themselves through the comparison of others. With the emergence of so many different types of social media, platforms for social comparison are increasing. Instead of just being able to compare oneself to a person standing in the same room, there are now many social media outlets to exacerbate comparisons with millions of people.
Creating Perfect Illusions: The Paradox Effect- The paradox effect involves creating the illusion of having more social engagement, social capital and popularity, but masking one’s true persona with social media. In other words, we are creating an illusion of a life that isn’t real through our online profiles. The person you portray on social media and the true you, can create a double consciousness – Your “self” on social media is constantly seeking more validation through electronic likes, not life. Social media users forget to take into account that a lot of what they are seeing is carefully orchestrated, fake – It’s not real life. Everyone, friends, family, and our “selves” tend to only post the best versions of ourselves and our lives.
The post you see is most likely the best out of a shoot of 100 – people create perfect illusions of themselves online because they seek attention and want to be viewed positively. No one’s true, unaltered life is ever accurately represented on social media.
“Likes”-Social media becomes an extension of our identity – That makes our posts, pictures, and activities like virtual possessions or pieces of ourselves. We make perfect photos, increase our popularity, have the nicest profile, and get the most views and likes. This makes us feel anxiety over how many likes we get after we post a picture – When we post something that doesn’t get a lot of likes, we can feel rejected, which causes our self-worth to take a hit.
Getting more “likes” than someone else will cause positive feelings of self-worth, while getting fewer “likes” will cause negative feelings of self-worth. A “like” occurs when – and is a way for – an individual to communicate their approval – like an easier visual of approval.
Interruption of Life- The good, healthy things about life, like hanging out with friends and family, learning something new in school, watching your kids in a play, or seeing something beautiful in nature, are often interrupted by our social media lives. We are not fully engaged in the healthy activities of life because we want to document them to make us look interesting on social media and we become detached from reality.
1) Social Media’s Impact On Self-Esteem | HuffPost. (n.d.). Retrieved from
2) “Likes” for Self-Love? The Effects of Social Media on Self-Perception Retrieved from
3) To like, or not to like: how social media affects self-esteem | The Sundial. (n.d.). Retrieved from
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